And With a Single Dandelion Sylph….
Warm weather is in full swing. And so are dandelions. Oddly enough we have none in our front yard, which is where I work when I work from home. Rooster won’t let me work inside with the central air. Thanks buddy. Anyway, I have an adorable picture of my Patches intently sniffing a patch of grass, her thinking wrinkle going strong and with a single yellow dandelion in front of her. It’s most adorable. I almost got a tattoo of a dandelion shedding it’s little sylphs in the wind as a tribute to my little lady (my son named them sylphs after he watched The Spiderwick Chronicles and the little sylphs had faces). To me dandelions are her flower, her sign.
Today I’m sitting out in my little kitchen alcove outside my house thinking as I inevitably do about my Patches. I’ve gotten much better, I feel lighter, not as much pressing sadness. About a week ago, after more than a few concerned looks when I couldn’t hide my red eyes on more than a few (hundred) occasions I decided I needed to pull myself up a little more and try not to think about her so much and be so sad, if only for the people around me who love me and are concerned and would do anything to see me smile again. And it seems to be helping me. I also have talked to my 15 year old son of all people from whom a wealth of wisdom blooms. Last night in the car he said he thought I seemed to be doing better. I told him that I try not to think about her so much and try not to be sad as much but that sometimes that felt wrong because I never want to forget her, never want to not honor her for her love and courage. He wisely said “mom…….we will NEVER forget her and never stop loving her. But we are still here and she wants us to be happy, happy that she’s happy and happy that we got to have her for as long as we did”. And it’s so true. I told him he was right right but I that want to make sure I give myself time to do the healing I need to do. Time to let a year pass, a year of firsts for everything I used to do with her and now have to do without. You don’t do 9 years of loving and 7 hellish months of caring, loving, worrying and crying in 2 months. It was a wonderful chat. I feel like more than any of the adults in my life he gets me and the whole situation best.
I’m a medium, I think I’ve said it before. I’ve had relatives come to me after they’ve died with messages. Recently I had a dog come to me with messages and another spirit came with a message for a man for whom a profound healing was begun thanks to her connecting with me. I love being a medium. I love helping others and to see them happy and hopeful, it brings me joy and lets me know I’m doing the job I’m here to do the right way. That being said, sometimes I feel like the bridesmaid and never the bride. I wish my girl would talk to me directly, somehow. She has gone to others in their dreams and they have given me the message. I’ve had other signs that I question because it’s what I do. I’ve been longing for a concrete and indisputable sign from her that she’s around and happy.
Today I was sitting in my little alcove wistfully ruminating and I asked her why she wasn’t talking directly to me. And when I looked down at what I thought was a bug hovering between my eyes and my computer screen I saw what it was that had appeared as if from nowhere. A single dandelion sylph. It floated before my eyes for about two seconds and then it floated straight up and away. And with a single dandelion sylph my heart lifted. My girl finally talked directly to me.
My love still burns bright for her, a beacon for her to find me whenever she wants or needs me. Hopefully she comes to me again. And again. But with the single sylph I feel better knowing she’s smiling on me. Maybe this is the beginning of a smile every day. I’m working on it.
xoxo
Debbie and Angel Patches
June 2, 2016 @ 7:26 pm
I was absolutely riveted to every single word! Each thought you expressed took me to another level of excitement as I wondered where you and Patches would lead us next.
Soooo much wisdom intertwined throughout yoir ppst. And be assured, your son is a wise Soul, a true Sage of Enlightenment!
Sometimes I think we subconsciously equate staying stuck in grief as a tool to ensure we will never forget. Sure, we love hard, we grieve hard. But our loving memories transcend our grief and keep js connected forever. We “can’t have them back” because they never really left us. The longer grief dominates our emotions, the longer it takes to realize our soul deep love keeps us connected forever.
And boy ih boy, did Patches let you know her energy is still present with you through the sylph of her dandelion!! 🙂 🙂 OMD!!! That was a HUGE “I’m here Mom! And I’m beautiful and floating free!” And make no mistake about it, Rooster had a paw in making sure you were outside right at that exact moment! Rooster and Patches must be so tickled!
I also love the Dandelion. Why we decide to label one of the most beautiful flowers a “weed”‘is beyond me!
To have that ADORABLE sacred and treasured picture of Patches and “her” dandelion…And then for her to connect with you that way……magical!!!
Sooo glad you continue to update us and share thoughts and priceless photos of your girl. You are an interesting fascinating team and I always look forward to your blogs. Doesn’t mean sometimes the grief is still overwhelming, but it’s still always a celebration of a great dog!
Sending lots of hugs and love to all!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
June 7, 2016 @ 6:53 pm
Sally…..you are so sweet. you never fail to make me smile at your kindness. Thank you so so much for your kind words once again. You have so much wisdom and thankfully you share it. I agree with you, we stay stuck out of a need on our part and we miss the point that we will always love and be connected to them. I have felt lighter since I saw that little sylph and I feel better knowing that she feels my love every second that I’m here. Rooster too. I’m so glad I continue to post too because it helps me heal and get my thoughts out of my head. If I didn’t I probably wouldn’t be able to sleep. I like how you put it, that no matter what, even if the grief is sometimes still overwhelming my love will always be her celebration, me honoring her for her bravery, love and lessons. Thank you Sally.
xoxo
Debbie and Angel Patches
June 2, 2016 @ 9:09 pm
I love your photo of Patches and the dandelion. She really does look like that flower has all of the secrets of life. My father died a year ago – it was not the “traditional” relationship for me, so my grieving was a bit different than what might be normal. But, the one thing that struck me was how much there was to celebrate of his life – he lived to the age of 75 (my Mom died in her 50’s), he was married to his wife for 35 years, he was surrounded by grandkids and great grandkids by his second family, and a whole community of people in the small town where he lived. You and Patches had nine plus wonderful years of celebration – she had a long life and a family (and do I recall Oreos somewhere in there?), which I think is pretty much everything a dog wants. And she knew that you cared for her intently until the end. Maybe she wasn’t talking directly because she knew that you needed time too? Maybe now, every time you see that dandelion sylph, you can celebrate along with your sadness? Love the tattoo idea, by the way!
June 7, 2016 @ 6:57 pm
wow Christine, thank you for sharing and for sending support my way. I agree that she knew I needed time before she could get through. Maybe I still do. Isn’t it funny how grief is different each time we experience a loss? I’m sorry you’ve had so much loss but you have a great handle on it, you celebrate him and the time you had him and others. My son said the same thing, mom, be happy we had her and had a chance to make her happy. It’s so true. I loved spoiling her, feeding her, kissing her and whispering in her little ear, telling her all of my secrets and her just sharing her love. I’m definitely lighter since I saw the sylph and if I do get another tattoo (it’s looking more and more likely) it will be the dandelion. She’ll be with me forever. And oh yes, you recall correctly. As many oreos as she wanted. One day it was 6. and if she wanted another it would’ve been 7. I would have gotten the moon for her 🙂
Thank you so much, sending you virtual hugs and support right back,
Debbie and Angel Patches.
June 3, 2016 @ 1:20 am
What a beautiful, uplifting moment… Your girl is very persistent and very creative. She knew exactly the sign you needed – the one you would recognize beyond a shadow of doubt… I also think it was no coincidence that she did so as you were staring to feel better… The bond and the Love you have with her is beyond words. It is absolutely striking that you happen to have this exact picture too… Your time to be the bride, my dearest Debbie!!!
❤️
June 7, 2016 @ 7:00 pm
Thank you Anna. It’s nice to be the bride once in a while. My girl was so special while she was here and I have no doubt she’s being rewarded over there for her time here. I’m still amazed at that tiny little sylph floating right in front of my screen just hovering. It was like an invisible being was holding it for a fragile second and then the wind took it. Amazing. I will always be connected to her, my heart to hers. Thanks for being so sweet.
xoxo
Debbie and Angel Patches.
June 7, 2016 @ 2:40 pm
OK how did I miss that you are a medium? That explains so much, you are so in touch with emotions, your pack and nature and life itself. It makes sense now.
What a thrill that Patches came to you in that particular way (I had no idea what a “sylph” was until this post!). She knows that little but oh so significant sign was all it would take to let you know she’s doing good.
Your son is awesome, by the way. He obviously gets it from you.
June 7, 2016 @ 7:04 pm
LOL, I generally don’t advertise…..sometimes I write and have to go back and read what I wrote. I figured if it came out of my fingers it needed to be said. I am absolutely a ‘feeler’, to a fault at times. I was hoping so desperately to hear from her but she waited until the time was right. I still have my little ‘thaw outs” in the car and at the oddest times but I have thought about that little sylph and felt good knowing she’s with me and when the time is right again I’ll hear from her again. I will never not miss my girl. She was so special and brave coming here to teach me what I needed to know. I will always feel honored.
thank you for being here for me. Your site saved my sanity.
xoxo
Debbie and Angel Patches